“Thanks for a lovely evening”, she said. “Would you like to come up for a nightcap?” “No, I have to prepare some things for work and I’ll be up all night,” he said, while in a hurry to drop her off.
Sadly, she knew the answer. So why did she ask? Why didn’t she trust her instincts from the start? But then, why did he accept to go out? And why did he make love to her before? She is sure it was love making, not just sex. What had happened since the last time they spoke like true friends? It’s hard to lose a lover, even harder to lose a friend, but when a friend becomes your lover and you lose him… it’s just a big empty space.
Of course she’s not going to say anything. She will pretend that everything is ok. The funny part is that she would have never imposed on him anyway. She feels bad, betrayed he didn’t see that. In the end, the only thing they promised each other was that he would be honest and she’d be easy going. She did her part… so… And she would have never wanted a confirmation; the world didn’t have to know. It would have been enough for them to know… What hurt her is that she didn’t have enough time to tell him that, and now - he’ll never know.
She didn’t really need a lover, or a friend. She just needed him, as he was… Never approving her, always cynical, sometimes rude. She was afraid to tell him that, afraid he’d drive her by, so she accepted him, in every way he wanted. Maybe he didn’t want to have his way; maybe he was looking for a challenge. Maybe that’s why he left. That, she’ll never know.
She walks back to her existence; head down, defeated again, lying to herself it’s not so bad. In the end, it’s what she’s used to.
Suddenly she remembered why she liked him there. She hates the things she’s used to. She finally understands what she needs. A challenge, things she will never get used to, people who are not good or bad but, above all, different. So it wasn’t in vane, he played his part in her life.
She smiles, she wins….
Sadly, she knew the answer. So why did she ask? Why didn’t she trust her instincts from the start? But then, why did he accept to go out? And why did he make love to her before? She is sure it was love making, not just sex. What had happened since the last time they spoke like true friends? It’s hard to lose a lover, even harder to lose a friend, but when a friend becomes your lover and you lose him… it’s just a big empty space.
Of course she’s not going to say anything. She will pretend that everything is ok. The funny part is that she would have never imposed on him anyway. She feels bad, betrayed he didn’t see that. In the end, the only thing they promised each other was that he would be honest and she’d be easy going. She did her part… so… And she would have never wanted a confirmation; the world didn’t have to know. It would have been enough for them to know… What hurt her is that she didn’t have enough time to tell him that, and now - he’ll never know.
She didn’t really need a lover, or a friend. She just needed him, as he was… Never approving her, always cynical, sometimes rude. She was afraid to tell him that, afraid he’d drive her by, so she accepted him, in every way he wanted. Maybe he didn’t want to have his way; maybe he was looking for a challenge. Maybe that’s why he left. That, she’ll never know.
She walks back to her existence; head down, defeated again, lying to herself it’s not so bad. In the end, it’s what she’s used to.
Suddenly she remembered why she liked him there. She hates the things she’s used to. She finally understands what she needs. A challenge, things she will never get used to, people who are not good or bad but, above all, different. So it wasn’t in vane, he played his part in her life.
She smiles, she wins….
Happy Easter :)
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